The Spin of the Ball

Are You OK?: I like to ask myself, “how are you?”. I answer as honestly as possible. It’s nice to know someone’s listening. I always listen to what I tell myself. I never drift off while I’m listening to me. I only realised this recently. That I’m my friend. Perhaps I’ll buy myself a gift. I would love that.

Welcome to the Universe: When the despair creeps in I like to pretend I’ve just arrived in the universe. That the past is an illusion and suddenly I’m here, doing what I’m doing for the very first time. Every day at work becomes my first day at work. Suddenly I’m glad to be where I am. I’m glad to be. Sometimes I let out a chuckle at how great it feels to exist, or I do a little dance to celebrate the miracle. In those moments I feel like I’ve found my way into life. No longer holding onto the edges, afraid of the fall.

Love: It seems everyone knows this and it seems we all forget. That the love that sustains you is your love for yourself. I think I’m making progress. I remind myself that I’m always there for me, that I would never judge me, that I understand me.

Smell This: I work in a place filled with things that smell nice. I love selling the products and saying “smell this” to customers, to help convince them to buy. I think you have to say it in exactly the right way or else it can get awkward. You really have to want them to smell it because you know they’ll enjoy it. I like the challenge. And it works. When they smell it, they buy it.

Childhood memories: Around the age of 8, I used to walk to school with another kid. I can’t remember his name. I do remember he had 4D Boxing on his home computer. We played it. Being an idiot, I thought, “Wow, this is what 4D looks like”.

I used to get invited to other kids’ houses after school. I would accept the invitation and ask them if they had a computer. We would play the computer, and after a while they would want to play outside. I always found this confusing. The computer was so fun and outside was not. I usually kept playing the computer. Sometimes the parents would intervene and say that the computer needed to cool down. I was rarely invited back a second time.