The Spin of the Ball

I have a confession to make. I haven’t been real with you. It’s the mistake I always make. I’ve been trying to impress you. Like a bird of paradise doing a mating dance. I want to be genuine. So here goes:

The first time I felt sexually aroused was during an episode of Captain Planet, when Linka kissed Wheeler (Ep: “Missing Linka”). I was very confused about the feeling I was having, but very happy that she finally kissed him. He’d been trying so hard.

I often felt scared or awkward watching Degrassi Junior High, where students would work up the courage to ask each other out on dates. I felt terrified for them. How could it be worth it? But then I grew up and started asking girls out all the time. And writing blogs in the hope that a girl would see inside my mind and like it.

I feel the need to write. I guess one has to be interested in something. To play your part in the story of the universe. I’m adding to the giant pile of blogs that no-one reads, like all those books on the bookshelves in Skyrim. They help to flesh out the world. There are main characters, like Taylor Swift and Donald Trump. And then there are minor characters like you and me. Perhaps we will meet some day and no one will care. Except us. And that would make it all the more special. A secret love. What follows is my dating profile.

My name is Josh. I’m 41 years old. I like horror movies. I like sport. I love kicking the football and making it spin. I get inspired by music. I like to dance. I like to be silly. I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to pretend to know anything. I like to encourage people. I like to see the positives. I’m enjoying the story so far and I look forward to what happens next.