The Spin of the Ball

I’ve just arrived home after a 40 minute walk from the tram stop. I bought some cigarettes and smoked three of them on the way. I thought I would write a sequel to my post about words (Post 23) because I enjoyed writing that one. I thought of some questions and ideas and I carried them home with me, where I am now.

When a singer finds their voice, they are capable of sharing a real emotion with the audience. They seem to transfer it. Perhaps a writer can do the same when they find their voice. I’ve got some thoughts and questions that might help me find my voice.

When I write, does each sentence flow into the next? I believe the choices I make in my sentence structure affect the flow. Do I want it to flow? Maybe it doesn’t need to flow, or flow smoothly. A river is more interesting when interspersed with rapids.

And when the writing flows, does it flow the way you want it to? Can you teach flow, or is it an instinctual thing? A good singer has instincts that they use to shape the phrase for maximum emotional impact. You want maximum impact, don’t you? Maybe you don’t, and maybe you have your reasons. When it comes to teaching writing, I imagine you let the student know that they have choices to make, and if they have the awareness to consciously choose, they have more control over their voice.

But control might be over-rated. You could be a natural writer who simply throws words on the page, allowing the choices to be made unconsciously. Perhaps that is more authentic. Perhaps all that matters is that the words reach someone and enrich their life. I was going to write “perhaps all that matters at the end of the day…” but I decided I didn’t want the cliché. I don’t think that is a good choice or a bad choice. It was my choice.

What I do is I write the words and then ask, “Am I comfortable with my choices?” It’s like going shopping for clothes. You try the outfit on and ask, “Am I comfortable with this look? Is this me?” I think that last question is profound. Is this me? Who am I? I think being you is desirable. As I go along this journey, I am more inclined to want to be me. It seems shopping for clothes, like writing, can be an exercise in understanding yourself.

I have made many decisions so far in this post. A lot of deleting, re-writing, re-structuring. I won’t bore you with any more examples. I think that is where the joy in writing lies for me. The decisions. The trusting of instincts. If I could just pour the words out of my head, for them to assemble themselves perfectly, there would be no activity to pursue, apart from the pouring. Would a chef enjoy their work if they just poured the ingredients onto a plate? Even those who enjoy pouring might be dissatisfied, for no matter how they poured, the result would be perfect.

I’ve reached my word limit. That’s enough words for now. I hope they reach you. But if they don’t, that’s ok. Perhaps they will reach me.