The Spin of the Ball

Singing: My last post ended with me about to do karaoke. It was great. It really turned things around for me and my mood. I was going to write a whole post about the joy of singing and put a little song at the end. However, the song was garbage. The singing was not genuine. It sounded like I was being very careful. So I will keep my singing to myself for now.

Jihad: I was walking home from work just recently. I usually look upon the crowd on Chapel St, searching for flaws. That person is too loud, that guy looks like a jerk, etc. But today was different. There were fine people everywhere I looked. People with their own complex stories. Loveable people. I accepted them all. I couldn’t help but think of the word “jihad”. To some, this word means “inner struggle”. To others, a literal holy war. I prefer the first meaning. I am no longer searching for conflict. If I hear people arguing about something pointless, I don’t feel the need to chime in, even if it’s to say the argument is pointless. For that is an argument. I don’t watch the news, not because it stresses me out but because I have no interest. The inner struggle is being resolved. Does this mean I’m about to die? I have been feeling a bit tired lately. I don’t have any loose ends to tie up. I don’t need to see my ex-girlfriend again. I think this is it.

Love: Let’s say I’m not dying and there is still a love story coming my way. I’ve decided to stay in the moment and not think about it anymore. Not think, “Is it her? Or her?” If I can just stay in the moment and focus on loving myself, the story will unfold. I have been loving myself lately and I have noticed my life changing in a good way.