The Spin of the Ball

Life Update: My latest worldly goal is to buy a PlayStation 5, so I can play with one of my best friends and enrich our relationship. So I thought I’d better stop buying unnecessary things. Unfortunately, I got bored and bought some cigarettes. I think I can still make it work. While I smoked, I had a good phone conversation with a long time friend. We reminisced and probably talked about a lot of the same things, but I’m beginning to realise that the things I talk about don’t really matter. The connection with another person is what matters. I think it comes through in the tone of voice and the time you give. And making the call in the first place.

Cringe: There are all these cliches, like “Love Conquers All”. Sentiments of love. Cringeworthy sentiments. And maybe you have been programmed to cringe. Yet perhaps the way to enjoy life in this world is to go against your programming. Let the cliches in. And if you accept the cliches, people may ridicule you for being cringe, and this is a test for you. To not care. To see the ridicule as a plea for love. And to give it.

Dream: When I wake up from a dream, I realise it made no sense. Perhaps I am comparing it to this dream. The dream we dream together. But if I wake up from this dream, will I think it made sense? I don’t know. A world, seemingly held together by maths, where everyone is, in a sense, created equal, although there are some really attractive people and some really ugly people, and many of us are more likely to be nice to the attractive people. And many of us assume it’s better to be attractive. And then there’s money and apparently it’s better to have more of that. And maybe the trick is to unthink all of these things, and maybe that is where joy is found.

Help: What if the universe is not indifferent to you? What if it is always helping you, but in a way that makes you think you are doing it all yourself?