The Spin of the Ball

Hello: I woke up this morning hungover. It’s my day off. I walked down to the train station to get a Juice Monster. I’m drinking it now as I write.

Popularity: I recently re-watched a movie called The Craft (1996). There’s a scene where the popular girl loses her hair and in the same instant, her popularity and friends. It made me think. When I first shaved my head and accepted my baldness in 2012 my girlfriend-at-the-time started crying.

Despair: In moments of despair I often forget that my best friend is always here:

“Hello best friend, how are you?”

“I’m in despair”

“Do you think you’ll be ok?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

Cringe: I sometimes look back on moments in my life and I cringe. I’ve noticed that if I face up to the memory and let it hit me, I don’t cringe as hard the next time it comes up. Eventually there is no cringing at all. Just a smile at how silly I was.

Indigestion: I ate a loaf of bread for dinner two nights ago, got indigestion and couldn’t sleep so I decided to finally watch Empire Records. Quite good considering I didn’t watch it in my formative years. A really fun movie. I can’t think of anything insightful to say except that 30% of the movie seems to be Renee Zellweger’s legs.

Conversations: I drank some tequila the other night and had the following conversation with myself:

“I’m sorry I haven’t said this before but I find you really interesting.”

“Thank you, my love. I feel the same way. May we keep growing.”

“Thank you for the sentiment. What would you like to do now?”

“Video games.”

An Acquaintance to Remember: I had an acquaintance. He despises me now. It’s totally understandable due to my actions. My first reaction was negative. Sort of like, “Oh, you despise me? Well then, I’m going to despise YOU!” Over time I have decided I’m completely cool with him. If he wants to be my acquaintance again, he is most welcome. This has made me feel a lot better. I didn’t realise how much it had been affecting me. My posture has changed. If you’re reading this, Pat, I love you.

Enlightenment: I’ve been reading about enlightenment. No thinking. I like the idea, but I think a lot and I seem to enjoy it. Sometimes, as I’m reading, I feel like I could let go, stop thinking and the universe would disappear as though it never were. But I like being caught up in the story of the universe. I like to take it seriously sometimes. I’m going to keep thinking for a bit longer.