The Spin of the Ball

Hello: I woke up this morning hungover. It’s my day off. I walked down to the train station to get a Juice Monster. I’m drinking it now as I write.

Popularity: I recently re-watched a movie called The Craft (1996). There’s a scene where the popular girl loses her hair and in the same instant, her popularity and friends. It made me think. When I first shaved my head and accepted my baldness in 2012 my girlfriend-at-the-time started crying.

Despair: In moments of despair I often forget that my best friend is always here:

“Hello best friend, how are you?”

“I’m in despair”

“Do you think you’ll be ok?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

Cringe: I sometimes look back on moments in my life and I cringe. I’ve noticed that if I face up to the memory and let it hit me, I don’t cringe as hard the next time it comes up. Eventually there is no cringing at all. Just a smile at how silly I was.

Indigestion: I ate a loaf of bread for dinner two nights ago, got indigestion and couldn’t sleep so I decided to finally watch Empire Records. Quite good considering I didn’t watch it in my formative years. A really fun movie. I can’t think of anything insightful to say except that 30% of the movie seems to be Renee Zellweger’s legs.

Conversations: I drank some tequila the other night and had the following conversation with myself:

“I’m sorry I haven’t said this before but I find you really interesting.”

“Thank you, my love. I feel the same way. May we keep growing.”

“Thank you for the sentiment. What would you like to do now?”

“Video games.”

Enlightenment: I’ve been reading about enlightenment. No thinking. I like the idea, but I think a lot and I seem to enjoy it. Sometimes, as I’m reading, I feel like I could let go, stop thinking and the universe would disappear as though it never were. But I like being caught up in the story of the universe. I like to take it seriously sometimes. I’m going to keep thinking for a bit longer.